is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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