Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
