I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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