I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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