Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
