Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I did not marry a roomba.
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