Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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