i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
