But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
