omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize