What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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