Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
