Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
