We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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