I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
