The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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