it was like his penis was on wheels.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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