Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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