dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
As shirtless as possible
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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