Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
