Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
