i would punch a child for taco bell
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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