If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize