Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
