the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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