I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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