Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
