when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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