Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
