My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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