I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
