normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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