he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
