Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sober January is a disaster.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
