so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
