I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
