i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize