so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
