I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
