she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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