it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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