The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
