you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
