You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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