Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
