My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
