I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
