happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
