Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
