...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize