Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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