you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize