u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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