i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
