Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize