It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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