I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
