i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
