if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize