just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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