Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
