Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
