So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
