Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
