This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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