dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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