Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
