I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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