I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
whose ass print is on the piano?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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