whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
