She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
