If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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