I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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