Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
