I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
