well most of my day revolves around power hour
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So vagazzling was a success
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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