walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
