Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
